To the idiot that designed the 3.4 DOHC water pump

[Aaron]

First of all, it should be noted that the water pump on my sister's 1996 Monte Carlo Z34 went bad. This is at least its second water pump, as there was silicone gasket maker all over the place. It has 160,000 miles. My BMW E34 recently needed its first water pump, it had 248,000 miles. BMW 2, Chevrolet 0.

Now it seems simple, I mean the only thing you really need to remove the get to the pump is the pulley, and that was actually pretty easy. Once you get to the pump, you remove the 5 bolts (Which were all much looser than spec). Now the fun part. In order to get the pump out, you need to remove the ECU cover, which was fairly easy. Now the pump is out, but of course 98.37% of the old gasket is permanently attached to the engine, along with 4.8 tubes of silicone gasket sealer. Well that shit just doesn't come off with a razor, knife, or a scraper. It takes a drill with a wire wheel. But in order to get the drill down there, you need to remove the timing belt cover. So off comes the coil pack, coil pack bracket, both inspection covers, the top alternator bolt, the power steering line holder, and then you can loosen the inspection cover, but not remove it. Luckily the previous owner had broken it (Of course), so the part I needed out of the way moved out of the way. So wie wheel off all the old shit, put the gasket and water pump in right?

NOPE.

The water pump has 5 bolts in a lugnut-like configuration. Except they are all different distances apart from each other, and there's no alignment pin or other way to know which is right. So you get the gasket lined up with the pump, put it on, and spin it until all 5 bolt holes line up. Then put everything back together.

Pain in the ass.

[Emc209i]

I had to pull two of those fucking front covers off of Grand Prix's back when I was having so much trouble. The packaging of that engine inside of most W-Bodies is absurd. A cradle drop is standard on the Grand Prix to replace the alternator. Good riddance.

BMW's are notorious for coolant system failure. Depending on the engine, most of the older plastic impellers on the pumps literally disintegrate. Fortunately they have a reliable aftermarket for pumps, the Z34 only has shitty aftermarket to replace your shitty GM original part with, on your shitty GM built engine (exclusions: 3800, LSx).

[Aaron]

I'll agree the packaging is downright awful. Alternator in Z34 = 8 hours. Alternator with the same engine in a Fiero = 8 minutes.

Ya the water pump failed, but at 250,000 miles. You really can't say anything bad about that! I just bought an OEM pump, figured I won't have it for more than 50,000 more miles. On my sister's Z34 I just did I got a remanufactured one. Can't be $14 for a water pump, and we won't have the car long.

[fieroguru]

You do realize that the water pump insert you are blaming the 3.4TDC for is the exact same one that had been used on the FWD 2.8/3.1 variants before the TDC was even offered.
I even ran it on my SBC swap with the custom water pump housing... I think it is a compact/efficient and low cost water pump that works quite well.

The LS4 water pump insert is similar to this one as well, except the pulley is pressed on, so you have to rotate the pulley to line up the access hole to get to the bolts.

[Aaron]

They actually aren't the exact same, the DOHC water pump is slightly larger. But it is the same basic design, and I'll agree that's it's cheap, effective, and compact. Reliability doesn't seem to be as good as other engines I've had experience with (My BMW mainly), but that's understandable considering the BMW is, well, a BMW.

My problem with its design is that it can only go on one way because the bolt holes are not evenly spaced. Now there may be a reason for this, but if you're going to do that, why not incorporate an alignment pin or some other way to know which orientation is the right way?

[Series8217]

The silicone sealant shouldn't be there, so that's not GM's fault. I've never had problems with mine leaking and it's just the paper gasket.

It is pretty retarded that it can't be clocked freely.

The LQ1 has a hard life in a W-body, and its mechanic does too. At least it's easy to work on in the Fiero.