Ass dyno upgrades

Series8217 · Post by **Series8217** » Sun Sep 04, 2005 2:57 am

It's not as accurate as I would like it to be. What are the best upgrades/mods on a small budget??

Shaun41178(2) · Post by **Shaun41178(2)** » Sun Sep 04, 2005 3:28 am

What is your budget?

How much power do you want to gain?

Series8217 · Post by **Series8217** » Sun Sep 04, 2005 4:13 am

Whoa dude, I'm not trying to inflate the horsepower ratings my butt dyno comes up with. I want accuracy here. That means decreasing how often it overrates stuff too.
I can afford a few candy bars; though I think fattening of the ass will decrease butt dyno accuracy due to the damping of the torque curve, no?

Aaron · Post by **Aaron** » Sun Sep 04, 2005 3:05 pm

Don't let MTA near your metering device.

After he rapes you, your ass won't ever be the same again.

Blue Shift · Post by **Blue Shift** » Sun Sep 04, 2005 4:32 pm

My ass dyno is a highly calibrated and tuned piece of equipment... nobody is allowed near it except for highly specialized, skilled, hot female calibration technicians. Extended visits to San Francisco (notably the Castro) are highly discouraged due to the possibility of instrument damage from abuse and use not concurrent with it's intended purpose.

Remember, F=MA, so if the mass M in of the car and contents including the mass of your ass is very great, A, acceleration will be poor and harder to distinguish. Therefore eating 37 candy bars and a bag of Lay's potato chips is out of the question. Furthermore, attemptiong to eject mass, in the form or solid, liquid, or gas from your ass will provide an acceleration force of it's own, skewing the results of the ass dyno accelerometry test. It is therefore advised that you refrain from shitting yourself under conditions of extreme acceleration, as the test results will be inconclusive. :bootyshake:

Shaun41178(2) · Post by **Shaun41178(2)** » Sun Sep 04, 2005 6:23 pm

OMG that was hilarious!! LAWLZOR

Aaron · Post by **Aaron** » Sun Sep 04, 2005 6:24 pm

Shaun41178(2) wrote:

OMG that was hilarious!! LAWLZOR

I KNOW!!!

Doug Chase · Post by **Doug Chase** » Sun Sep 04, 2005 6:45 pm

Here's a very simple dyno idea that I've used.

Find a flat, straight, safe, place where you can accelerate from about 20 to 60+ and bring a stop watch. Put the car in second gear at about 2000 RPM and plant the gas. Start timing when the tach hits 3000 and stop at 6000 (or whatever RPM band you care about). Do this a few times and you'll get fairly consistant readings.

This won't give you a horsepower number, but it will give you a good baseline from which to compare changes. Just make sure conditions are similar whenever you do new runs.

Series8217 · Post by **Series8217** » Mon Sep 05, 2005 2:02 am

Chris, Doug, thanks for the excellent advice.
:thumbleft:

I'm still looking for additional input if anyone else has something to add.

Indy · Post by **Indy** » Tue Sep 06, 2005 5:51 pm

If you go downhill, the hot gasses coming out of your exhaust will come out faster (hot air rises, duh), meaning less backpressure, more HP, and faster acceleration.

Shaun41178(2) · Post by **Shaun41178(2)** » Tue Sep 06, 2005 5:54 pm

True so constantly drive downhill.

The Dark Side of Will · Tue Sep 06, 2005 9:20 pm

And if you drive uphill the hot gas in your exhaust will rise and help push the car up the hill. Just don't drive on flat ground, 'cause then you'll be slow.